Since I’ve had so many questions lately about why I’m still in Sedona despite the oppressive heat and wonderful pictures and invites from my friends in cooler Colorado, I started working on a blog post about all the beautiful things I’ve been experiencing here and how I just wasn’t ready to leave because I hadn’t seen everything I want to.
And while that’s certainly true, the rest of that story is that I’m also in overwhelm mode and I think it’s time that I deal with some things I’ve been trying to push aside and ignore, just hoping they’d magically go away.
I won’t go into details about everything that has me stressed and worried, but I feel like it’s finally time I seek some professional medical help for issues I’ve dealt with for years now that are not getting any better. I think insomnia is the biggest contributing factor to my feeling of declining health and decreasing energy. Since about 2007, I’ve tried all kinds of medication and approaches to deal with it, always hoping I’d find some natural way like meditation and sleep hypnosis CDs, etc., but nothing has really worked. And even though I can get to sleep ok, years of not being able to sleep for more than two hours straight at a time is catching up with me. I definitely have an increase in aches & pains and decrease in stamina and know it’s not good for my overall health to let this continue.
Just the idea of doing one of those sleep studies where I’m supposed to go sleep in a strange place somewhere other than my own bed while hooked up to wires and machines all night long is the stuff of Clockwork Orange type nightmares to me!
Do I have sleep apnea and need one of those CPAP machines? OMG, from what I’ve seen about them, even if they actually work, I absolutely detest the thought of needing one of them. That also looks like a torture device to me!
Are my adrenals fatigued or thyroid tired out? I was tested for those things last year in Austin and was told that all looked normal. But I’ve heard that the basic testing used doesn’t always pick up on the problem. And once that is figured out, what do I need to do to boost those babies back up? Is there anything natural that could really work without it being something totally weird or putrid tasting?
To top it all off, I now have developed TMJ and also need some dental attention. We won’t talk about how much weight I’ve gained since I quit smoking two years ago and how I know I’ve got to do something about my ridiculously self-indulgent diet habits, also. Just thinking about it makes me want massive amounts of ice cream!
Watching what my mom went through during all the doctor visits I took her to looking for answers, I have a basic mistrust of greedy modern medicine and big pharma on general principle (of which I think they are lacking).
I also know that many times the side effects of the drugs prescribed to treat a condition turn out to be worse than the condition itself.
But strictly esoteric energy healing or clearing approaches have not worked for me, either, so I’m going to look for a doctor here who accepts Medicare but takes a holistic mind-body-spirit approach to treatment. If I can’t find that in Sedona, I don’t know where.
That’s probably another thing that has me freaked out. In my teens I can still remember being convinced I’d never live to be a 30-something, but to be 65 and Medicare age now is almost unthinkable!
I was going to wait until I got back to Austin, but 5-6 months seems a bit long to wait at this point and it’s not like I have a regular doctor there anymore anyway since my favorite doctor retired.
I just had to replace the tires on my car and had some other unexpected expenses with more to come in needed RV repairs and maintenance, and I still haven’t done my 2015 taxes, so I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s better for me to stay here to tackle my life for the moment and just take the heat – in more ways than one. So I am going to extend for yet another month and am currently thinking it probably won’t be worth heading to Colorado at that point since my next destination is Austin for the holidays.
So if I don’t write or post much lately, it’s because I just feel the need to be bored and boring for a while.
But of course being in Sedona is still amazing so I will be getting out and exploring some when I can and will try to always keep this in mind…
Me at Vortex – June, 2016
…knowing that if I truly can keep that kind of faith and recognition of the divine incorporated into my life, nothing could shake me this much. I’m just not that evolved yet, I suppose, but I’m working on it…